Why I Could Be the First Transsexual Pope

One number one reason is to introduce the Church to dreams, a topic I wrote about in yesterday’s Ask the Dream Queen in response to this dream of mine from several weeks ago:

I get a message written by that bespectacled minister Robert Schuller saying that the church needs a sincere interest in dreams.

A couple personal issues are keeping me from being the first transsexual Pope. One is illustrated in this dream:

I can feel Self coming through me. I look in the mirror and my mouth is vibrant, rainbow-colored light, but is pinched into a slot, like a black hole. I show the boys. In recognition one says, “It’s Lord Jesus.”

“Yes, it is,” I say speaking through the black hole and pinning him to the wall by the neck. As a result of this one of the boys is dead. We discuss what was wrong with what just happened. We agree that there was too much anger in it, which killed the boy.

The dream closely mirrors one of my male self’s earliest experiences in church, of a bearded, long-haired Jesus-look-alike priest ranting hotly at the congregation. My male self was 3 years old, and terrified. The experience effectively turned him away from “God,” which, in dream-speak, equates to being killed.

A spiritual leader may have vast knowledge of her field, but forcing its rainbow on people - as some are so accustomed to doing – is to turn the rainbow into a black hole. The reason I am shown using the rainbow lethally is anger issues. The secular culture of anger poisons religion. I will be more qualified to be the first transsexual Pope once I have processed my anger issues and hence have become more self-aware; and hence more conscientious about how to use the rainbow.

My vocation to be the first transsexual Pope was alluded to in this dream from 1993:

I go to a psychologist. We talk for a long while. He sees all these problems I've been having. He examines my spine and finds a cracked vertebra he's very concerned about. It will take some time to heal. To heal he instructs me to go to the highest turret of a church.

Who but the Pope is at the highest turret of a church?

Indeed, I have serious spinal issues, with my central nervous system; multiple sclerosis, which has me using a cane when I go for walks. Last night, in my bed, the left half of my body felt full, pulsing and vibrant, while the right felt empty and bland. The difference in feeling between the two halves had never been quite so distinct. Being a positivist, I hope this suggested that the issues underlying my disease are becoming more distinct. Disease is not random. Its cure is in balance – physical & mental – though cure is perhaps impossible to achieve before time fully unveils knowledge. At any rate, if I heal, then make me the first transsexual Pope.

Another number one reason to make me Pope is that I am an avatar of the divine feminine principle, Rose Mary Pillowwater.

Mary holds the matter in man. Without Mary, man reverts into spirit. His body dies.

The universe is a uterus. The uterus is a symbol of creation. Only Mary has one. Jesus’s womb is Mary’s.

I am not crazy, and am half-serious. I am trying to invent a new story so that the old, imbalanced, Mary-less one can feel ok about dying.

On Monday, Wednesday and Friday updates are posted to Amy George’s other blog Ask the Dream Queen, for which she interprets reader-submitted dreams.